A Brief History of Time

This morning I realized it has been a year since I left New Jersey. Suddenly, a year has become a small increment of time. When did that happen?

I remember when a year seemed like FOR-EVVV-ER. But now, it has already been a year since I left New Jersey. It seems like yesterday. Funny thing is, it also feels like a hundred years ago. I can't believe it's been a year; I can't believe it's only been a year. It's strange. My time in New Jersey seems an entire other life to me now. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it was real and I really did live there. I was there for a year and have been gone for a year... two big years in my life that blur together and become one. In my mind, past time contracts, expands, and folds in on itself until the concept of a year is almost rendered meaningless. In the end, events have happened, how much does it even matter when they happened?

At any rate, right now, New Jersey almost seems like a dream to me. But this is not the first time I've looked back and had that feeling. I think I have always had a bad tendency to sleepwalk through life. It's why I can't remember high school too well... I just wasn't present a lot of the time. I mean, I know I was there, had some good times, passed a few tests, made a few friends (one, actually), but I feel like I never fully engaged, body and soul. I just put my head down and powered through, unconsciously keeping out of the way of most people and most potentially embarrassing situations. Not that high school was any great loss, probably, but the point is high school certainly wasn't the last time I've sleepwalked. I don't know, I guess it's a preemptive defense mechanism against real feelings or experiences that could become painful memories down the road. Yeah, that's the ticket. Ahh, but there is no good without the bad, right? I have to keep reminding myself of this! I can't be scared.

In this last year since I left New Jersey I think I have done a lot better job of staying awake to the beauty and pain and joy and sorrow of life. I still go catatonic now and then, but I'm working on it.

Then again, maybe it's all a dream within a dream within a dream, Inception style? Shit, where's my little dreidel? I gotta see if I'm still in my head. Maybe if I keep writing, I'll wash up on the shore of my unconscious. That'd be fun! Happy Labor Day.

Ch. 1 - Away We Go

And so, new philosophy in hand, I set out on the first leg of my trip from New Jersey to Columbus, OH. Happiness and immense relief immediately came over me as I pulled away from Jersey, and I didn't look back once.

Mostly because I couldn't! My poor little Hyundai was packed to the gills! Yes, that is a giant blue stuffed bear taking up valuable space behind the passenger seat. Anybody got a problem with that? The car still handles great and gets good gas mileage, and at this moment, that car is the love of my life! I try to treat her well. Her name is Foxy, by the way, named so because I had to buy her after my old car broke down on the way back from the Foxwoods Resort and Casino in Ledyard, CT. So, Foxy and I have been happy together since then and are enjoying our new life on the road.

The first six hours flew by on a wave of excitement and adrenaline. I wasn't tired at all and felt like I could keep going forever. Alas, I had to stop in Wheeling, WV. Why, you might ask would I need to stop in West Virginia? Well, you see, it had been some five months since I went to Foxwoods and I needed to gamble! You can take the boy out of Vegas, but not the Vegas out of the boy. Wheeling is home to the Wheeling Island Casino, which I had designated ahead of time to be an essential stop. It was actually bigger and nicer than I had imagined and it worked out great! I played poker for about 45 minutes, made some good hands, a couple of timely bluffs, and walked out of there more than $200 up.. more than paying for the first leg of my trip! Actually, I did not walk out of there.. I ran the fuck out! I had to get out of their before the local toothless realized a Jew just took all their money! In my mind this is what I looked like to them in their minds:

Am I being unfair to the people of West Virginia? I don't think so...

So, I won, escaped with my life, and after that it was two more hours to Columbus and I was looking forward to dinner and seeing my friend. It was not long after I arrived that I started to figure out which casino I will be stopping at during the next leg of my trip.

My Manifest (Destiny) Manifesto

I sit down to write tonight at my computer in Columbus, OH, some eight and a half hours from New Jersey, yet only at the beginning of my new journey. Before the end of the month I will have set foot in or driven through 15 states and gone roughly 3,800 miles. And I will be happy. I am already. So it is I return to this blog after a 7-month dormancy, with a new philosophy, a renewed spirit, and on my way west once again.

My new philosophy is the new title of this blog. This is how I intend to live my life for the next few years. It is both literal (as you can see in the picture) and figurative. Simplicity! Minimalism! Before I go any further, let me say that I don't have nearly enough self-esteem to presume that any of this or what I will say in the coming posts is important or original in any way. I don't pretend to have all the answers or even all the right questions. The title of this blog is really only meant to apply to me.. whether this idea is right for anyone else is up to them. I promise only to share my thoughts and experiences as I think and experience them... and believe me, it is very hard for me to believe that anybody cares to read those either!

I do want to say, though, that what led me to quit my job (a steady income, in this economy!) and split for the coast (the west one.. no offense to the Jersey shore) with only what I can pack in my sub-compact car is not as ill-conceived (crazy) as it may sound to most rational human beings. The decision has been a long time coming and I will elaborate on my logic in the posts to come, I'm sure. For the time being, let me say to those rational humans that I am one of you! And I am not stupid (well, not completely), I am not careless, and I am not irresponsible. Nor am I brave, courageous, or in possession of a large set of balls, as some others might think. Believe me, I am racked daily by fear and worry, but I have simply decided not to let that stop me. It is the right thing, at the right time, for me to do.. This much I now know to be true.

This new course of action, and the life philosophy that slowly led to it and is being shaped by it, is something I came to after long and careful consideration. Of course I could have kept thinking and plotting and saving more money in perpetuity, but there came a time where I could think no longer and the situation called for action. This is not bravado, this is straight-up fear and laziness, trust me. But this combination has always worked for me in the past. Fear is my biggest motivator... not so much fear of external things like plane crashes and bugs, but of internal things. My number three fear is boredom and stagnation. My number two fear is not being happy. My number one fear is not forcing myself to get out of an unhappy, boring situation for a long time. In my life I have been able to ignore these fears for a while (we all have to), but sooner or later I use them as a call to arms. Again, I have plenty of daily fears about normal things like money and death (and bugs), but I will force myself to make a change if for no other reason than just to spite my own fearful brain. And I always do my best work under pressure. Sometimes I just have to apply that pressure myself. Sometimes I just have to pack all my shit in a car and go, even if all the details aren't ironed out yet. Really, part of the fun is not knowing exactly what will happen.

In short, I felt I was becoming a shadow of myself in Jersey (seen here waiting for the train on my last day of work). I was not happy and I had to get out! That's all I've done so far...

All's quiet on the eastern front

So, it's been a while. I make no excuses, even though I have many. But today I have called out sick and I am watching the snow fall outside my window.. I got nothing but time to think and blog. It's snowing a lot.. like a foot! That's just overkill.. an inch or two and I think we all get the idea, any more than that is just unnecessary. Oh well, whaddya gonna do?

Since my last blog I had a birthday and it is now 2009. I often think about how we will be thought of in a hundred years. Think about how we think of people who were alive in 1909, and born in the 1800's... Like they were almost in a completely different world. Will that be how we are thought of by people in 2109? It's weird. We like to think we are the center of the universe and the most advanced generation ever.. but we're just a passing fancy in the grand scheme of things. Wow, this cold medicine is some good shit.. blowing my mind!

But all that is kinda pointless to think about.. All we can do is live our lives the best we know how in the age we're given. We must do the best we can for ourselves and our loved ones. That's enough for me.

To that end, I am doing OK. They laid off a bunch of people at work... but not me. It's been cold and snowy.. but last week it was 60 and sunny for a day and I hit golf balls. I am reading more than I ever have... the train is good for something. I have now watched all of The Sopranos on DVD... "when in Jersey..". Margaret and Mia moved away and I miss them a lot.. but they're happy and safe in El Paso and I couldn't be happier and thankful for that!

So, it had been a while, but now I'm back on the blogging wagon.. or is it off the wagon? And now a few pictures from the last couple months: (Links to more pictures on the right)
My best snow man so far.. a fine hood ornament. $21 plate of pretty lousy latkes from the Stage Deli.. It was Chanukah and I was desperate. The rocks of Sea Bright, NJ, my most recent daytrip.. about an hour south on the Jersey Shore.

Well, that's all I got for now.

So, This is Fall... Weird.

Fall in New Jersey and New York is real, people! Before now I had never seen an actual season besides summer and maybe one week of winter, at best. It has been nice, as you can see in the pictures of Central Park.. the leaves really do change colors. And then they fall.. hey, I get it now! But... I fear for the coming cold. What is this Florida-by-way-of-Vegas dude gonna do? I really have no idea. Margaret showed me how to wear a scarf, I bought some long underwear, which I figured out how to wear on my own, and I ordered some gore-tex shoes online. I will have the gear, but will I have the will?


Otherwise, a lot has happened the last few weeks, some good, some bad, some meh. I have had some of the best days and some of the worst.. sometimes they were the same day. See what I did there? I will try to catch up on the ol' blog soon.

Enough to say that I deeply miss my two favorite people in New Jersey, but knowing they are happier makes me happy.

The Big News II

So, part two of the big news begins with moving day. Two weekends ago I started sleeping in New Jersey officially. A few days later all my stuff from Vegas arrived and I began the long, uphill march to being unpacked and semi-settled. Incidentally, the movers decided my first day of work would be an excellent time to deliver my stuff, on less than 12 hours notice no less! I couldn't see calling in sick on my first day, so I had to leave a key under the mat and trust the movers to do what they had to do with no supervision... ick. But, as you can see in the picture, everything seems to have made it here OK. Also, you can see my new couch and nifty new pop-up coffee table.

I like my place so far and after two weeks of work, I have a pretty solid handle on the commute. I have a first choice and a second choice train station, and have used each on random days. The first choice, South Orange Station, has a better selection of no-transfer-necessary trains to Manhattan and a lot of coffee and bagel joints right near the station in cute downtown South Orange. But, it also has basically no parking available in the morning. I am not the only one who likes it. I found the very last daily-pay parking spot on my first day of work.. and I had to be there at 7am to get it! Ladies and gentleman, my shift is 10am-6pm.. 7am is not gonna work for me.

Thus, my second choice has become my first choice lately.. This is the Mountain Station. It always has parking, is only about 5 minutes from my house, and even with a transfer it still only takes about 40 minutes to Penn Station. There is supposed to be a free shuttle bus to South Orange that stops right in front of my house, but this has been radically unreliable. I used it once to have my first completely car-free commute... but I actually kind of like having my destiny in my own hands. If I can park and ride, I will.

Someday soon I intend to document my entire commute for posterity. I will take pictures or video of every step of the process... from front door to train station to greeting the doorman at work. The newness of it all is making it fun for me so far. I am sorta like a real grown-up.. making my coffee, getting on the train, going to work, coming home tired. I feel like I should be wearing a trench coat and a fedora. It'll probably get old pretty quickly, but it's OK for now... I just need some good reading material for the trains.

Hanging my Hat

If you haven't heard, I've found a place to call home. It is a one bedroom apartment in New Jersey... much cheaper than anything I could find in New York and still only 25 minutes to Manhattan. It is in a four family house on a tree-lined residential street. On the left is the outside of the house, below is my kitchen. It doesn't look like much on the inside yet, but I like it and you can click on the link to the right to see more pictures.

On Saturday I got the keys and had cable, phone, and internet installed... now all I need is a TV, a phone, and a computer! Well, I have a computer, but I won't actually start sleeping there until I get some more furniture and get all my stuff moved over from Queens. The rest of my stuff from Vegas probably won't get here until early August... hopefully...maybe. Movers can pretty much do whatever they want... they got your stuff, you want your stuff, what can you do?

I also went ahead and got a car to get around the Jersey 'burbs. She's a 1998 Mazda 626, found on Craigslist. Last time I drove a 626 it was totaled... through no fault of my own, mind you. But let's hope that doesn't happen again.

All in all, a busy couple weeks getting all these ducks in a row. I am happy to have a place to hang my hat.

The AC

So, on the Fourth of July weekend, I drove down to Atlantic City, as I had been threatening to do since I began this blog. It took about two and a half hours on the Garden State Parkway and I was there.. in the East Coast mecca of degenerate gamblers. I happily joined in, even though it's really just a third rate Vegas. Still, it was fun to get back to the poker tables.

It was not fun to pay for parking. Maybe if you're not from Vegas you don't understand my outrage... parking is always free in Vegas. Why put up any barriers between a gambler and your casino? On the other hand, they know $5 is probably not gonna stop a determined gambler from going to their casino, so why not charge? Still, I didn't appreciate the extra $20 or so that I had to spend.

I got myself a souvenir...

A week in an Apple

Firstly, let me apologize for the delay since my last post. I've been too tired, lazy, or both.. I have no real excuse. It seems like I've been here longer than I have, but it's really only been about 10 days. This picture is the outside of the building I'm living in.

Following is my first week:

Mon: I forget. Oh wait.. I took the train to 181st St. This is pretty far uptown Manhattan.. now I know what kind of apartment you can get in the city for $1,100. I did not take any pictures.. 'nuff said. I had two hot dogs and a papaya drink for $3.25 and got back on the train. I stopped at Grand Central Station on the way back.. still love that place.

Tues: Got up early and took the 10:13am from Penn Station to West Orange, New Jersey. I was excited for two reasons. First, I was going to see Margaret and Mia, whom I'd been missing. Second, I was taking a real train for the first time. They said, "All aboard!" and a conductor wearing a hat came around and punched a hole in my ticket.. I was in the old west.


I had a great time in Jersey. We had mediocre food (the pizza place ran out of pepperoni.. are you f'ing kidding?!) but the company was great and their neighborhood is pretty.



Wed: Determined to see water of some kind, I set out for the Staten Island Ferry. This is a nice, free 20 minute boat ride through New York harbor with views of lower Manhattan, Ellis Island, and the Statue of Liberty.

Near as I can tell, there ain't a whole lot to do once you get to Staten Island, but the boat ride is nice and the smell of salt water and the feel of the wind on my face was refreshing. When I got back to the mainland I walked around Battery Park and the Financial District of Manhattan.

There is a lot of history down there... there is also a lot of dudes wearing ties. On the way back I passed through the World Trade Center site. This was the first time I've seen it.. It is pretty amazing. Somehow it felt like taking pictures, as if it were some kind of tourist attraction, would be weird.. so I didn't.

Thurs: By this point I'm already starting to tire... I'm sure I've walked more and gotten more sun in the last few days than I did all of last year. But..I had a longing to visit Coney Island. So, I set out on the subway to the land of Nathan's Hot Dogs and the Cyclone.

I must say, the hot dog was really, really good.. worth the line. I did not ride the Cyclone roller coaster.. that thing's almost 100 years old.. screw that. Go ahead, call me chicken. The beach and the boardwalk were pretty nice. I'd go back.. I'd even ride the Cyclone.. No Wonder Wheel though.. I refuse.


Fri: I could be mistaken, but I think I went to the Lower East Side and walked around. I mean, I know I did this, but not certain it was Friday. In any case, I ended up at Katz's Deli, this is the place where Harry met Sally and Sally faked an orgasm. The breakfast special of three pancakes, coffee, and OJ for $6.95 wasn't bad. The pastrami sandwich that I felt obligated to order was just OK. It did not give me an orgasm, which, for $16.99, I was sorta expecting.

So, that was my first Mon-Fri, in short. I've been waking up early, tiring myself out, and going to bed early. If you want, you can see more pictures in my albums listed to the right.