You talkin' to ME? Well, I'm the only one here.

Earlier this week I did what I think may be a rite of passage for New Yorkers. I argued with a cab driver. And it felt goooood. Actually, it wasn't a cab driver so much as a private car driver.. and I feel a little ungrateful complaining about a free private car ride home, but, damnit, I had to wait an hour on the corner of 5th and 52nd and I was annoyed!

You see, when an event goes later than about 8pm at work they will give us poor bastards who live in Jersey or some other god-forsaken outer-borough a voucher for a car ride home so we don't have to worry about taking the train. I have done this several times now and had no problems in the past. I call, they tell me what number car will be picking me up, I wait in front of the building, and in a few minutes the car comes, I get in, say "Home, James" and in about 45 minutes I am delivered home without ever having to associate with the common folk.

Yes, sometimes the drivers smell (true story!), or ask me about what I think of the desktop computer they plan to buy at Costco (on sale!), or refuse to use their GPS and insist on asking me for step-by-step directions (like I know where the hell I'm going!), but these are only minor annoyances one must endure for a free ride home. But Tuesday night I knew I was in bigger trouble when I got a call from the car dispatcher telling me that my driver said he couldn't wait in front of my building and wanted me to wait on the aforementioned corner.. about a half block away.
Now, I had no problem going to this corner (above is the view from the corner), but I did not quite believe the story I was being told because: A) The driver would not have had to "wait" in front of my building.. I was there waiting for him, all he had to do was pull up and unlock the door, and B) I had just witnessed one of my coworkers being picked up by her car right in front of the building not two minutes before I got this call. Nevertheless, I walked to the corner and did not see any car waiting for me. I waited a good ten minutes before calling dispatch, who informed me, rather rudely, that the driver was circling and would be there in three minutes. OK. I waited. I waited another good ten minutes before calling again and talking to a different dispatcher. "Where is the car?" "He'll be there in three minutes." "That was ten minutes ago." "Oh. Let me call the driver." "Great." So, he calls the driver and tells me that the driver is waiting at the corner. I tell him that I am waiting at the corner and have been for 30 minutes.. there is no car here. He confirms I am on the right corner, says he doesn't understand either, and he will have the driver call me directly.

The driver calls, all pissed off, asking me where I am. I say I am where he told me to be.. where is he?! He now changes his story and says he is circling and will be back in 15 minutes. Ugh.. whatever. So, I wait, and I pace, and I mutter all manner of profanities under my breath as I watch every one of a hundred or so cars drive by, none of them MY car. If I had just taken the train I would have been home by now! 20 minutes later, the car finally pulls up and I get in, all pissed off.

There is about 20 seconds of silence after I shut the door... we are both figuring out how exactly we wanted to yell at each other. I finally ask what the problem was and he tells me 52nd street had been closed the whole time and was just now opened and that he had just wasted an hour because of me! I said I just wasted an hour too... standing on a very open 52nd street watching hundreds of cars go by! He insists that it was closed until just now and I must not have been standing there. I assure him I was and that I don't really want to argue with him but, "Where did all those cars come from if the street was closed?!"

He didn't say another word the entire ride home. The tension was thick in that Towne Car as we passed a million tourists in Rockefeller Center and Times Square, and got caught in a major backup on the Jersey side of the Lincoln Tunnel. I didn't get home till 11:30... I had left work at 9:00. I was annoyed and tired.

Yet, at this point, as I said, I was actually kind of exhilarated by arguing with the guy. I felt like I could take on all comers... I wasn't gonna take shit from anybody! I was lean and mean (and not bogged down by any man purses). Bring it on, assholes, I'm a fuckin' New Yorker.

Here are more pictures from this week. So many tourists near Radio City that they bring out the horse cops... I like horses, they're so pretty. Wait, I forgot I'm a tough guy now... Horses aren't pretty, they're stupid and should all be sent to the glue factory. Yeah, I told them...

(Forgive me horses... I didn't mean it... I still love you!)

There is no Santa Claus

So, last night was the big Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting. Naturally, I was not there as I have no interest in being caught in a shit storm of tourists. However, since I work two blocks away, I have been able to see them getting the tree set-up and prepared for the big day. I saw things I did not want to see. Things that have caused me to reevaluate the entire world. Yes, the entire world.

First, I saw that the tree is really not as big as it looks on TV. I am sure it looks nice with the lights, and it's no small tree.. just saying, it could be bigger. I was underwhelmed. Second, and most distressing, I saw them adding branches to the tree. Literally teamsters hoisting up outside branches and tying them to the real ones with rope to make it look fuller. Well, in my mind, they might as well put up a sign right in front saying, "Oh, and kids, by the way, there is no Santa Claus... Merry freakin' Christmas".

Now, I am no great lover of Christmas (being Jewish I am contractually obligated to say, Chanukah rules) or of lying to kids, but The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is a cultural institution and I was surprised how pissed off I was to have my illusions shattered. If this tree is fake, what else could be? Is the Empire State Building really that tall? The Brooklyn Bridge really that old? The Bronx really that dangerous?

In the end I am not sure if I would have rather not seen what I saw, or if I am glad the wool has been removed from my eyes. For, I have seen the tree in the full bright light of day and I am forever changed. The tree has been exposed as a symbol of the delusions, self-perpetuated and/or inflicted, that we all carry with us.. especially during the holiday season. In short, there is no Santa Claus... not now, never was. Jesus, I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!

On a side note, I left the bag of stuff that I usually carry with me on the daily commute at work last night and therefore did not have it with me on the trains this morning. I found myself much happier without it! Free and unencumbered. I'll just have to carry my ipod in my pocket from now on. So, no more man purse for me! I am liberated, hear me roar.

So, This is Fall... Weird.

Fall in New Jersey and New York is real, people! Before now I had never seen an actual season besides summer and maybe one week of winter, at best. It has been nice, as you can see in the pictures of Central Park.. the leaves really do change colors. And then they fall.. hey, I get it now! But... I fear for the coming cold. What is this Florida-by-way-of-Vegas dude gonna do? I really have no idea. Margaret showed me how to wear a scarf, I bought some long underwear, which I figured out how to wear on my own, and I ordered some gore-tex shoes online. I will have the gear, but will I have the will?


Otherwise, a lot has happened the last few weeks, some good, some bad, some meh. I have had some of the best days and some of the worst.. sometimes they were the same day. See what I did there? I will try to catch up on the ol' blog soon.

Enough to say that I deeply miss my two favorite people in New Jersey, but knowing they are happier makes me happy.

Upstate, where even the little trees are big

Hello, it's been awhile.. I've been busy and doing well, I promise. Starting to finally get adjusted to commuting and all that, yada yada yada. All that is well and good, but what brings me to this blog today is to document our recent trip upstate. Me, Margaret, and Mia headed to Sackets Harbor, NY...that's 5 hours north on the shores of Lake Ontario.

First, let me explain the pictures.. near Sackets Harbor is Watertown, and Watertown happens to be where the tree shaped car fresheners are made. Not many people can say they have been to the Little Tree factory... we can. Do you think this building size one would actually last more than a week? The third picture is of our cabin on the lake.. the picture is small, the cabin was smaller, the shower was smallest. But it had comfortable beds, cable TV, and a nice view. The best view of all, though, was the two girls in the fourth picture (I know that's cheesy, but it was a good segue and it is the truth). Then there's me and Mia on our lake.. we were pretty sure there was a monster in there somewhere. Finally, there is a picture of the remains of what we all agreed was the best breakfast we have had in a long time. We actually ate really well the whole trip, but this breakfast at Friendly's Restaurant was stand-out delicious. We only went there cause Bob Evans had a 25 minute wait... thankfully. If there is a Friendly's near you, seek it out, trust us.

So, we had a great time and even though we only stayed one night, we managed to relax more than we had in a while. We got to break in our new jackets and I saw more stars in the sky than I think I ever have. Big Dipper, Little Dipper, you name it.. they were all up there. I had never really seen the rolling north-eastern farm land before.. very pretty. The cows and horses were grazing and the leaves were even starting to change. I think we're all looking forward to going up there again.

As for working life... It is Ad Week in New York and the museum is hosting a lot of seminars. I have been working early all week, catching the first train of the morning from South Orange at 5:15 am. Yuck. Oh well, overtime dollars. I promise I will get back on the blog posting wagon.. or is it off the wagon?

No Sleep 'till Brooklyn

Today was a really good day. I got my new couch in the morning (a queen size sleeper for anyone who wants to visit West Orange) and took a trip to Brooklyn with Margaret and Mia in the afternoon. No amount of traffic would stop us from having a great time (this is easy for me to say, since Margaret did the driving, but I think she would agree). Even before either of us moved out here, we planned on going to the New York version of our favorite Vegas clothing store, the Buffalo Exchange.
After a few wrong turns and a GPS swap, we made it to the store in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It was just OK. A little small and a little snooty vibe made it not as good as the other Buffaloes. Still, we can all say we've been there now and we have the picture to prove it. We found a few things there and worked up an appetite for lunch and our back-up shopping destination...Beacon's Closet. This store turned out to be much bigger and better... we found a few more things and then took a walk through a random summer block party/flea market type thing. The fire hydrants were open and good times were had.

This was all a great way for me to celebrate my first paycheck, which I got on Friday. Almost exactly two months after moving to New York I have officially started making an income... not bad. And taking a drive on a beautiful day with two of my favorite people was exactly what I wanted to do. On the way there we went over the Brooklyn Bridge and on the way back, Mia held her breath as we went underwater in the Holland Tunnel. At one point the traffic was so bad, I had time to jump out of the car and grab some drinks from a street cart... only in New York. Again, I wasn't driving, but time seemed to fly by and it was a fun day. I am going to sleep well.

The Big News

While I was on vacation in Florida I got an email on my Blackberry (still addicted) from the guy I had a job interview with the day before I left. He said he wanted to follow up with me on the phone, could he call at 3pm? I said sure. So, he called and offered me the job.. just like that, all-of-the-sudden, I found myself employed. I guess the dream had to end eventually.

But really, it is exciting to have something new to do everyday, and there is the small benefit of income... which is nice. The job is at the Paley Center for Media on 52nd St. in Manhattan. It is kinda a museum for TV and radio. I will be a "video technician". I have already worked a full week and so far my primary responsibility has been archiving old TV shows by putting them into the museum's computer system. So, I watch a lot of old TV.. I've seen everything from Martin and Lewis to The 1988 World Series (the one with the earthquake) to one of Elvis' first appearances on Ed Sullivan. So far, so good... I could think of worse jobs. This is a picture of my work station. Notice all the buttons I could press if I wanted to... impressive ain't it?

I am still ironing out the kinks in the whole commuting to work procedure.. but, I will detail this in the next installment of The Big News.

A Festivus for the Rest of Us

This Sunday I wandered out of my apartment in Queens, not at all sure what I was going to do. I figured I'd hop the train to Manhattan, get some lunch, and do some aimless roaming. To my surprise I found a bustling street fair right outside my door... Screw Manhattan, this was Queens baby!

Of course, on further inspection, it wasn't really all that exciting. More like a flea market with overpriced carnival food... not that that stopped me from indulging my taste for all things deep fried. But, I walked around for a half hour and decided I had gotten the picture... time to get on that train.

So, I arrive in Manhattan and what do I find? Two more street fairs! One was nearly identical to the one in Queens, only bigger and on Madison Avenue. The other was a French Bastille Day food festival. It was a Sunday of street fairs in New York... my Chuck's (and my stomach) got a work out.

His bowels coiled like a serpent, ready to strike...

It's July 4th and that means competitive eating. At least, it does if you are a crazy person that enjoys cramming upwards of 60 Nathan's Famous hot dogs down your throat in 10 minutes. The title of this post is taken from the description given one of the competitors by the MC at the annual event, which I witnessed first hand on Coney Island. The MC also claimed we were seeing the "greatest athletes in the world" perform... I doubt that. Nevertheless, it was kinda fun and quite the spectacle.

It ended in a tie at 59 hot dogs and buns, between Takeru Kobayashi, the famously small Japanese champ from years past, and Joey Chestnut, the American defending champ. Their people agreed to an "eat-off" to decide things... the first such tiebreaker in the history of this storied competition. These two great champions of eating would each eat 5 more dogs, whoever got them down the quickest wins. It was close, but ultimately the American came out on top once again to retain his crown. The video above documents this historic occasion from my vantage point.. can't see much, but the crowd was excited. Happy 4th of July!

P.S. I rode the Cyclone this time... It doesn't look that bad from there does it?

Two Jews in a Rowboat, or Only in New York

Another week in the books, and I thought I'd dedicate this post to the things I saw this week that struck me as uniquely New York.

Maybe you can't really tell, but in this rowboat in a lake in Central Park are two Hasidic Jews... black suits, yarmulkes, hair curls, and all. Where else are you gonna see this? Not exactly sure why it's funny, but it is. How many Jews does it take....?

Today on the 4 train, between 86th st. and 59th st., I was treated to a show involving a boombox, a kid, and a break dancing midget. If only I had thought to take a video. I gave the little person a dollar... I mean, the guy did the worm (!) on the floor of a subway train. He earned it.

Earlier in the week I had lunch in Madison Square Park with my cousins. The picture at left is of the line New Yorkers are willing to wait in for a burger from a place called the Shake Shack. The burger was good, but yikes! No thank you to the line... It had to be at least 30 people deep.

Speaking of restaurants, Seinfeld fans should recognize this place on the Upper West Side. It's Tom's Restaurant, known as Monk's on the show. The inside looks nothing like it did on TV, but I had to eat there anyway. Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine were not there, though. And I did not have a big salad. It was still cool.

Finally, who's buried in Grant's Tomb? It's a trick question... gotcha. My dad has been telling the story for years about being asked that question in school... he answered the teacher with an exasperated tone, "I don't know!" How was he supposed to know that? (It's Grant, Ulysses S., by the way) His tomb is in Riverside Park.

A week in an Apple

Firstly, let me apologize for the delay since my last post. I've been too tired, lazy, or both.. I have no real excuse. It seems like I've been here longer than I have, but it's really only been about 10 days. This picture is the outside of the building I'm living in.

Following is my first week:

Mon: I forget. Oh wait.. I took the train to 181st St. This is pretty far uptown Manhattan.. now I know what kind of apartment you can get in the city for $1,100. I did not take any pictures.. 'nuff said. I had two hot dogs and a papaya drink for $3.25 and got back on the train. I stopped at Grand Central Station on the way back.. still love that place.

Tues: Got up early and took the 10:13am from Penn Station to West Orange, New Jersey. I was excited for two reasons. First, I was going to see Margaret and Mia, whom I'd been missing. Second, I was taking a real train for the first time. They said, "All aboard!" and a conductor wearing a hat came around and punched a hole in my ticket.. I was in the old west.


I had a great time in Jersey. We had mediocre food (the pizza place ran out of pepperoni.. are you f'ing kidding?!) but the company was great and their neighborhood is pretty.



Wed: Determined to see water of some kind, I set out for the Staten Island Ferry. This is a nice, free 20 minute boat ride through New York harbor with views of lower Manhattan, Ellis Island, and the Statue of Liberty.

Near as I can tell, there ain't a whole lot to do once you get to Staten Island, but the boat ride is nice and the smell of salt water and the feel of the wind on my face was refreshing. When I got back to the mainland I walked around Battery Park and the Financial District of Manhattan.

There is a lot of history down there... there is also a lot of dudes wearing ties. On the way back I passed through the World Trade Center site. This was the first time I've seen it.. It is pretty amazing. Somehow it felt like taking pictures, as if it were some kind of tourist attraction, would be weird.. so I didn't.

Thurs: By this point I'm already starting to tire... I'm sure I've walked more and gotten more sun in the last few days than I did all of last year. But..I had a longing to visit Coney Island. So, I set out on the subway to the land of Nathan's Hot Dogs and the Cyclone.

I must say, the hot dog was really, really good.. worth the line. I did not ride the Cyclone roller coaster.. that thing's almost 100 years old.. screw that. Go ahead, call me chicken. The beach and the boardwalk were pretty nice. I'd go back.. I'd even ride the Cyclone.. No Wonder Wheel though.. I refuse.


Fri: I could be mistaken, but I think I went to the Lower East Side and walked around. I mean, I know I did this, but not certain it was Friday. In any case, I ended up at Katz's Deli, this is the place where Harry met Sally and Sally faked an orgasm. The breakfast special of three pancakes, coffee, and OJ for $6.95 wasn't bad. The pastrami sandwich that I felt obligated to order was just OK. It did not give me an orgasm, which, for $16.99, I was sorta expecting.

So, that was my first Mon-Fri, in short. I've been waking up early, tiring myself out, and going to bed early. If you want, you can see more pictures in my albums listed to the right.

Welcome to New York

After getting all the packing done, I was exhausted and actually able to sleep a little, despite being pretty nervous. I flew out without trouble at 8:30am. Just for good measure, I won $22 in slot machines at the airport before I left. I bought gum, a water, and a magazine and had about $2.58 profit left over.

Five hours later, I arrived at JFK, where they were nice enough to welcome me, seen here. They also didn't lose my bags, and got me in a cab pretty quickly. I appreciated that.

So, I am in New York. I write this post sitting directly in front of a fan in my room in Queens. It is HOT here. And it's a wet heat, too. But, it's good to be here.


Last night and today I stuck with Ellie and her boyfriend, Jeff (seen here). We had a pricey (and not too outstanding) sushi meal in Tribeca and then went to Ellie's surprise birthday party on Saturday night. The party was at a bowling alley in Manhattan.. who knew? Today, we saw Indiana Jones in a theater in Times Square. Movie was equally mediocre seen in Vegas or New York. The trip back to Queens took a while, as there was a fire on the N train tracks somewhere and we had to take an alternate subway route.

Tomorrow I strike out on my own and start exploring. We'll see...

Last Two Weeks in Vegas

This is the Westward Ho, home of 5 cent coffee, 50 cent donuts, and $1 foot long hot dogs. It was one of my favorite spots on the Vegas strip until it got the wrecking ball treatment a couple years ago. We called it the "Ho".

I once bet my best friend Mitch $10 that he couldn't eat the hot dog (which was not only foot long, but an inch round and likely made of at least 85% rat by-product) and not throw up. He won the $10, but I think I got the best of it.. I really just wanted to make him eat the thing for my own amusement.

It has been almost exactly four years since I moved to Las Vegas. I have a had a lot of good times here with a lot of good friends, but in two weeks I am moving to New York City.. Eastward Ho!

I don't have a job in New York, but that didn't stop me when I moved to Vegas. I do have a cheap place to stay for two months.. Thanks to my cousin Ellie! And my cousin Sara also lives in the city.. that's two out of three first cousins.. not too shabby. And I do have at least two of my best friends already in the tri-state area, too.. Margaret and her daughter, Mia. I think it will be fun.

This blog will be a space for me to share my thoughts and experiences along the way. If you are reading it, you care about me at least a little.. Thank you. I'll try not to bore you.

This is the bagel shop nearest my future home...about two minutes walk. But the real question is, how far is Atlantic City from Queens? I'm still gonna have to get my poker fix now and then.