Boynton Beach Memoirs: June

Today I woke up to the sound of torrential rain fall - a morning cleansing of South Florida leaving in its wake clean cars, wet, cinematic pavement, and the fresh smell of mother nature. Also, this being Florida in the summer, it will surely leave behind humidity, a tremendous amount of oppressive, suffocating humidity. Therefore, I will not go outside, and cannot actually verify the clean cars or fresh smell thing. No, no outdoors for me this morning. I am content to grab a cup of coffee, put some brown sugar in it just to be different, and sit down here at my desk, indoors, to write a little something. And here we go with the Song of June:

Continuation:
The school-year ended and I think it ended well. All my 8th graders passed their final exam and will be continuing on to summer, high school, the rest of their lives. The principal was very careful to remind them that they had not "graduated" anything, yet; they were simply continuing on. For my part, I did my best to send them off with good grades and maybe even a little bit of knowledge. Knowledge I'm sure they'll forget completely over the summer, but still, knowledge. I hope it serves them well in high school. I hope I have a job next school year. I hope teaching will be a fulfilling career. I hope. (Have I made that Shawshank Redemption reference before? I think I have. Oh, well. Get busy quoting or get busy coming up with my own lines... ) In the meantime, I can take solace in this message, left for me on the white board in my room on the last day of school:

Teenager internet slang, for the win! I don't think it was sarcastic, either!
I was also informed that I have "swag."

Mangoluxo:

Concurrent with the end of the school-year is the beginning of mango season in South Florida. In our neighborhood, in the heart of Hypoluxo, the mangoes fall from the trees in mass quantities, waiting to be harvested by humans or eaten by rats. I don't think the mangoes care which, as long as they don't go to waste. So, so far, we've made: mango cake, mango bread, mango salsa, mango cocktails, and, the pièce de résistance, Mangoluxo Jelly ©. Mmmm... mango-y! We even made labels! Coming soon to a store near you??

Mangoluxo from Hypoluxo.
Very nice on a piece of toast.

Trains:

TRI-Rail: Two levels and two tracks,
 you figure it out

One day, not long after the mango harvest, I awoke with a desire to ride the rails. I used to commute on trains all the time when I lived in New York and New Jersey, and I have missed it. There is just something romantic and old-school about taking a train. Plus, you know, CHOO-CHOOOO!! So, I took the local commuter train, the Tri-Rail, down as far south as it goes, to Miami International Airport. MIA. Wait, seriously? Missing in action? That's the name of the airport? Eesh. Anyway, I had a nice train ride and a nice café con leche at the airport. Then I bought the traditional overpriced airport Toblerone and got back on the train and rode back home. Weeeee! Along the way I found out that train conductors in South Florida carry sidearms. As in guns. They are like train conductors/rent-a-cops, apparently. I wasn't sure if this made me feel more or less safe. I was just confused as to why they were not using their guns to shoot the people blasting their Cuban electronica music on the train. Come on guys, with great power comes great responsibility... to shoot people playing annoying music.

Automobiles:
On another day, I took Foxy in to get new shoes. See, shoes are what I call tires and Foxy is what I call my car... I got new tires for my car is what I'm saying. I mention this only as an excuse to mention how much I love the smell of new tires. Mother nature can keep her fresh morning rain smells, I'll take the smell of the tire aisle at Costco any day. I don't know, I just love the smell of fresh tire rubber, always have. Now you know. Also, new shoe smell. That's rubber and leather together! Intoxicating. You know, I really don't think I would be all that unhappy to work in a shoe store. Wait, what am I talking about? Of course I would; it would be horrible. But at least I could get high on sneaker smell every day... when I wasn't busy getting high on the actual drugs it would take for me to get through a day working at a shoe store.

Planes:
To round out my June means-of-transportation-trifecta, I will be taking a plane ride to San Francisco at the end of the month... that's in like 3 days! I found a pretty cheap flight on JetBlue and am looking forward to blue potato chips, animal crackers, and seeing my friends, Danie and the Jensens. Plus, in San Francisco I think I can get away with wearing corduroy. It's just too hot and weird to wear corduroy in the summer in Florida. But I still do sometimes... I can't help it, I think I only feel truly comfortable when my legs are draped in soft, brown, velveteen ridges. Now you know.

Love and Death:

Then there is the case of love, death, and the creation of the universe. Ya know, the small things. These topics are on my mind because a) I am jobless for the summer and have too much time on my hands, and b) I recently saw two movies that took on these topics: The Tree of Life and The Seventh Seal - one new, one old; one ponderous, one entertaining; both daring to tackle the core, fundamental, extremely serious questions of human existence. I didn't come to any ground breaking conclusions after watching these movies, but they did make me think and that ain't nothing.

Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life was extremely beautiful to look at, and there were dinosaurs in it (!), but it took itself just a little too seriously for my taste. I mean, it was just sooooo sincere. I can appreciate the ambition, craft, and originality, but, Jesus, it was just not a movie you'd want to watch again, really. The Seventh Seal, probably the most famous of Ingmar Bergman's classic films, on the other hand, is one of those old movies, like Casablanca, that really holds up. The premise is obscure and weighty, but the dialogue and characters are consistently entertaining and the pace is snappy. Who knew playing chess with Death could be so funny? And because it is funny, I think it ultimately addresses the human condition better than The Tree of Life... really good humor can be, and, in my opinion, usually is, more insightful than drama. I guess that is really the lesson I learned from these two movies. Give me some good, deep comedy (and some semblance of plot) any day.

Your move, Death. One of the most iconic images in film history.

Well, it's raining cats and dogs in buckets again, and that must mean it's time to wrap this up. I am going to go wrap myself in corduroy and take a nap. Tomorrow is a baking day; one last round before Morty and I pack our bags for the pilgrimage to his motherland. Of course Morty is going to San Francisco with me, don't be silly.

The rain in Hypoluxo falls mainly
on the pelican statue.

PS. I actually wrote most of this post two days ago. Since then I actually did go outside... see the following pictures from the Palm Beach Zoo. I think my dad wanted to go as preparation for seeing Zookeeper with Kevin James. I think he thinks he can get a role in the sequel.

This peacock had a thing for my mom.
My mom was interested, but ultimately noncommittal.

Living lawn ornaments!

My friend, the mud turtle.

If that tiger was pissed off,
do you really think that fence would be sufficient?

Let the eagles soar, like they've never soared before! Happy early July 4th!

The Big News II

So, part two of the big news begins with moving day. Two weekends ago I started sleeping in New Jersey officially. A few days later all my stuff from Vegas arrived and I began the long, uphill march to being unpacked and semi-settled. Incidentally, the movers decided my first day of work would be an excellent time to deliver my stuff, on less than 12 hours notice no less! I couldn't see calling in sick on my first day, so I had to leave a key under the mat and trust the movers to do what they had to do with no supervision... ick. But, as you can see in the picture, everything seems to have made it here OK. Also, you can see my new couch and nifty new pop-up coffee table.

I like my place so far and after two weeks of work, I have a pretty solid handle on the commute. I have a first choice and a second choice train station, and have used each on random days. The first choice, South Orange Station, has a better selection of no-transfer-necessary trains to Manhattan and a lot of coffee and bagel joints right near the station in cute downtown South Orange. But, it also has basically no parking available in the morning. I am not the only one who likes it. I found the very last daily-pay parking spot on my first day of work.. and I had to be there at 7am to get it! Ladies and gentleman, my shift is 10am-6pm.. 7am is not gonna work for me.

Thus, my second choice has become my first choice lately.. This is the Mountain Station. It always has parking, is only about 5 minutes from my house, and even with a transfer it still only takes about 40 minutes to Penn Station. There is supposed to be a free shuttle bus to South Orange that stops right in front of my house, but this has been radically unreliable. I used it once to have my first completely car-free commute... but I actually kind of like having my destiny in my own hands. If I can park and ride, I will.

Someday soon I intend to document my entire commute for posterity. I will take pictures or video of every step of the process... from front door to train station to greeting the doorman at work. The newness of it all is making it fun for me so far. I am sorta like a real grown-up.. making my coffee, getting on the train, going to work, coming home tired. I feel like I should be wearing a trench coat and a fedora. It'll probably get old pretty quickly, but it's OK for now... I just need some good reading material for the trains.

Two Jews in a Rowboat, or Only in New York

Another week in the books, and I thought I'd dedicate this post to the things I saw this week that struck me as uniquely New York.

Maybe you can't really tell, but in this rowboat in a lake in Central Park are two Hasidic Jews... black suits, yarmulkes, hair curls, and all. Where else are you gonna see this? Not exactly sure why it's funny, but it is. How many Jews does it take....?

Today on the 4 train, between 86th st. and 59th st., I was treated to a show involving a boombox, a kid, and a break dancing midget. If only I had thought to take a video. I gave the little person a dollar... I mean, the guy did the worm (!) on the floor of a subway train. He earned it.

Earlier in the week I had lunch in Madison Square Park with my cousins. The picture at left is of the line New Yorkers are willing to wait in for a burger from a place called the Shake Shack. The burger was good, but yikes! No thank you to the line... It had to be at least 30 people deep.

Speaking of restaurants, Seinfeld fans should recognize this place on the Upper West Side. It's Tom's Restaurant, known as Monk's on the show. The inside looks nothing like it did on TV, but I had to eat there anyway. Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine were not there, though. And I did not have a big salad. It was still cool.

Finally, who's buried in Grant's Tomb? It's a trick question... gotcha. My dad has been telling the story for years about being asked that question in school... he answered the teacher with an exasperated tone, "I don't know!" How was he supposed to know that? (It's Grant, Ulysses S., by the way) His tomb is in Riverside Park.

A week in an Apple

Firstly, let me apologize for the delay since my last post. I've been too tired, lazy, or both.. I have no real excuse. It seems like I've been here longer than I have, but it's really only been about 10 days. This picture is the outside of the building I'm living in.

Following is my first week:

Mon: I forget. Oh wait.. I took the train to 181st St. This is pretty far uptown Manhattan.. now I know what kind of apartment you can get in the city for $1,100. I did not take any pictures.. 'nuff said. I had two hot dogs and a papaya drink for $3.25 and got back on the train. I stopped at Grand Central Station on the way back.. still love that place.

Tues: Got up early and took the 10:13am from Penn Station to West Orange, New Jersey. I was excited for two reasons. First, I was going to see Margaret and Mia, whom I'd been missing. Second, I was taking a real train for the first time. They said, "All aboard!" and a conductor wearing a hat came around and punched a hole in my ticket.. I was in the old west.


I had a great time in Jersey. We had mediocre food (the pizza place ran out of pepperoni.. are you f'ing kidding?!) but the company was great and their neighborhood is pretty.



Wed: Determined to see water of some kind, I set out for the Staten Island Ferry. This is a nice, free 20 minute boat ride through New York harbor with views of lower Manhattan, Ellis Island, and the Statue of Liberty.

Near as I can tell, there ain't a whole lot to do once you get to Staten Island, but the boat ride is nice and the smell of salt water and the feel of the wind on my face was refreshing. When I got back to the mainland I walked around Battery Park and the Financial District of Manhattan.

There is a lot of history down there... there is also a lot of dudes wearing ties. On the way back I passed through the World Trade Center site. This was the first time I've seen it.. It is pretty amazing. Somehow it felt like taking pictures, as if it were some kind of tourist attraction, would be weird.. so I didn't.

Thurs: By this point I'm already starting to tire... I'm sure I've walked more and gotten more sun in the last few days than I did all of last year. But..I had a longing to visit Coney Island. So, I set out on the subway to the land of Nathan's Hot Dogs and the Cyclone.

I must say, the hot dog was really, really good.. worth the line. I did not ride the Cyclone roller coaster.. that thing's almost 100 years old.. screw that. Go ahead, call me chicken. The beach and the boardwalk were pretty nice. I'd go back.. I'd even ride the Cyclone.. No Wonder Wheel though.. I refuse.


Fri: I could be mistaken, but I think I went to the Lower East Side and walked around. I mean, I know I did this, but not certain it was Friday. In any case, I ended up at Katz's Deli, this is the place where Harry met Sally and Sally faked an orgasm. The breakfast special of three pancakes, coffee, and OJ for $6.95 wasn't bad. The pastrami sandwich that I felt obligated to order was just OK. It did not give me an orgasm, which, for $16.99, I was sorta expecting.

So, that was my first Mon-Fri, in short. I've been waking up early, tiring myself out, and going to bed early. If you want, you can see more pictures in my albums listed to the right.